Wawanakwa (July 2016)

Chef Hatchet

In Chef's Roadkill Diner, Chef is seen telling off a customer after giving her Mickey Mouse pancakes to eat.

The woman cries: "But I don't want to!"
The cameraman states: "Chef, we're still rolling."
"Yo. I'm the Chef. Chef Hatchet. I make the chow. The food. You eat it or you starve. Imma be honest. I'm doing this Ridonkey Roleplay for the paycheck. PERIOD THE END."
The cameraman asks: "Chef, what do you plan to do with your paycheck?"
The woman's meal moves and she starts screaming, smashing the chair on the floors and other tables repeatedly.
Chef glares at the woman (screaming in the background) and cracks his neck. "Renovations."


In his room with black walls, Max is seen dying his hair fading hair purple.
"Purple is the color of EVIL. That is what I plan to bring on the show if I get selected to the Ridonculous Roleplay! If you want to hear how evil I can be, I'll read my long resume.

• My materfamilias said I was evil growing up. I have no memory of my first ten years after my memories were erased by a neuralyzer.
• For my tenth birthday, I burned my house down after my cake was not evil enough. There were no demons.
• Even though I burned down my house, I was still angry at my materfamilias, so I burned the money she received from insurance.
• I took over an abandoned psychiatric hospital by the park to reside there by myself to do my evildoings.
• When I was eleven, I tied one of my classmates up on a swing, because he refused to help sabotage a loud game of soccer between the school jocks. What type of game is soccer?
• After he kicked me in the groin, I decided that I wanted to ruin his life. Luckily for me, the next day was the class spelling bee and I made sure he could not spell the word acceleration.
• Even though I served a month's detention, this was not enough to get back. I decided to expose his Facebook passwords and personal information to the school.
• After I requested for my personal Facebook passwords back, I was expelled from the school.
• Last year, I crashed the prom with my scurry of red ants to become prom king.
• During my stay at the hospital for my ant bites, I stole candy from a baby.
• Most recently, I was the one who hacked TotalDramaNaruto's computer to say that he was drawing gewn.
• Even though I was eliminated from the website for "hacking," I am back once again (under a new name!) and vegging during EpicMafia.

I think it is safe to say that I will be the most EVIL contestant on the show. My resume speaks for itself."

Boney Island (February 2017)


In her room, Jen is seen with a bunch of wigs to her side and adjusts the camera. Hi, I'm Jen and I'm all about trends. It's a great way to expand my Twitter outreach.
Being an independent designer is tough, but @FashionOnFleek wants in on Total Drama.
I've had a big impact as a Millennial Trendsetter. Remember chicken hats?
In 2007, people were looking so foolish with them! Here's a look:
Who approved those anyways? Look at the hats now:
Outside of my fashion tastes, your's truly was the driving force behind the Kermit memes.

EvilKermit.jpg me: @FreeHugs4All is on. I have things to say to her!
me to me: Tell her off at 12:00AM and get blocked. Her shoes are tacky!

Maybe not my finest moment, but it sure got my Twitter account (@FashionOnFleek) some attention.
I have 2,015 Twitter followers, but my tweet to follower ratio is pretty sad! How can one person have 87,450 tweets and start some cultural phenomenons, yet have so few followers?
If I make it, I hope to start some more trends. I've got some more up my sleeves, but I can't say them just yet.
One thing's for sure: I want to show off my ideas that are sure to go viral.
It'll spread like wildfire. It will spread faster than Ellen's tweet during the Oscars.


Staci is sitting outside on her gable, holding her phone.
Yas. Hi, I'm Staci! You might remember me from shows like Drone High, Saturday Mid-evening Live, Joysey Shore, The Last Woman on Earth and most recently, The Thompsons. Staci.png I actually just sued my way off the show, because the yellowing was ridiculous. We went into these booths and got sprayed yellow for a solid hour each day.
I am apart of a distinguished group of Buchanans. My father is Pat Buchanan, who hosted the MacLaughlin Group.
My great great great grandfather was James Buchanan, considered the best President in the 1800s.
But just because my parents and ancestors are a bunch of has-beens does not mean my relatives are irrelevant!
My cousin, Sean Spicer is actually the White House Press Secretary right now. I think you guys have heard a little bit about him!
But enough about my family... actually no. I have to a LOT LOT LOT more to say! I got history in my bloodline! Even my relatives who aren't as well known created products like Crystal Pepsi, Samsung Galaxy Note 7 and produced one of the more critically acclaimed movies of my generation, The Room.

The camera zooms in and catches a Twitter notification on Staci's phone.
"@OrvilleIV has replied to your tweet: "Fake news!"
"@RealStaci has blocked @OrvilleIV from Twitter."

Fake news? I sued the pants off of him last time, for stealing my idea! The Last Woman on Earth was an original concept for generations in my family.
So, why would I even consider competing? My family is super successful and I've been all over the television landscape. Frankly, I just want to win a million bucks.